Update!

Hello all -

Ah, what do you know? I'm so bad at writing on a regular basis. A whole month has passed! Things have been quiet here at home - everyone has been so incredibly busy - between tree jobs, working other jobs, working on the farm - it's been a good month. I've been at Country Kitchen now for just one month, and today I gave my two week notice - my last day is July 7th. I was offered a position just yesterday with Econo Foods, our grocery store in town, as a baker in the bakery. I'm really excited for this change and to be able to bake on a more regular basis. This position will also be able to extend through this first year of seminary, and a little extra income during the school year never hurts anyone. I guess I was never truly happy at Country Kitchen - the cooking was mundane (everything comes from a box or a package) and everyone seemed really stressed, all the time. It was a stress-fest 24/7.

I've gotten more things squared away for Luther Seminary this fall - found out my apartment (I'll be living in Sandgren 135, so come and visit!), signed more financial aid papers (loans...again), and am looking at what courses to take this fall. Seminary has been something I've been dreaming about for four years now, and I'm excited and elated that it will soon be a reality. I'm excited to see what my peers and colleagues in ministry are up to, what their hopes and visions and dreams are - and to see how and where I will fit in, just as well, in the public arena of Christian ministry.

I'm missing Holden like mad - I get updates every so often from dear friends and see pictures of the mine remediation, and it makes me wish that I was there among them, seeing the same sights. I miss Vespers and sharing the peace and classical music night and so many other things that I was blessed with in calling that mountain valley home for one year.

It's then that I remind myself that life is just as well here, too, on the plains of Minnesota. Life is great, here, where we are blessed with family and laughter and goodness. So it goes. :)

Christ's peace, my readers -
Dean

Adjusting

Hello all -
It's been awhile, and I apologize! When I last posted to the blog I was at Holden Village - now, three/four weeks later, I've returned to Minnesota, to my hometown of Cannon Falls. For good, this time. I've been quiet on this blog because I've taken a few weeks to do some serious job hunting, take a trip to the cabin, reconnect with friends, and enjoy times with my brothers and parents.

In the past few weeks I've managed to land myself a job cooking at Cannon Falls's Country Kitchen, which I just started today. I didn't get to do any cooking; hopefully that will come on Wednesday. Each day is a learning experience! I spoke for the Cannon Falls High School Class of 2013 Baccalaureate, giving the senior address about "living your call" in the here and the now. I took a trip to Marcell last weekend with my father and brothers to help my grandpa put in the dock and the boat, and breathe in some clean, clear northwoods air. I've had the chance to make good strong coffee and watch the cows eat grass out on the pasture. I've planted my garden and gotten my hands dirty with mud and seeds. It's been good. The first few weeks home have been invigorating and refreshing.

The purpose of this blog was to capture, in bits and pieces, my year out at Holden Village. Now that the year is over, and I am back home, I still wish to continue writing over the summer, and as I begin seminary at Luther this fall, to write all about life's adventures in other places, too.

All this being said, I miss my family out at Holden tremendously, more than words can express. The people there were beyond amazing for giving me a chance to spend a year with them. I miss them each and every day - hopefully I will be returning either in December or next summer to see them all!

But for now, being home, I am content. The farm is, after all, a great place to be.

I'll post more soon - updates on the life of a newly-minted short-order cook-soon-to-be-seminarian, family, and gardening. Stay tuned. :)

From Minnesota -
Dean

These Last Days

Hello all - 

Hopefully this finds my readers well! I leave the Village on the next boat - on Wednesday, I'll catch the boat and the bus to get to Wenatchee and board the train bound for Minnesota. It's scary how fast it's coming. I think I'm ready. I hope so. 

I've been invited to lead Vespers tonight, so I wrote a little reflection on my year here, sharing stories and thanking the community for all they've given me. I thought I'd post it here! 

How very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down upon the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down over the collar of his robes. It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion. For there the Lord ordained his blessing, life forevermore. - Psalm 133

“Hello! You’re Dean, right? One of our new lead cooks! Welcome, welcome, welcome!” a woman exclaimed, as she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. Here I was, fresh off the cross-country train ride with greasy hair, my clothes smelled awful, and I just felt plain gross. All I wanted was a hot shower, and to get up to the Village and settle in. And yet, here I was, standing on the boat dock, being hugged by a woman who I didn’t even know. Other people on the dock greeted me as well, with hugs and welcomes and “you’re going to love it!”, or other exclamations of assurance. I was hoping so.

The cross-country train ride on the way in last May was filled with worry. I was worried I wasn’t going to be good enough to do my job. I was worried about connecting with people, making friends, and I was worried about not being affirmed or validated.  I was homesick as the train blurred through flat Montanan prairie, and couldn’t sleep as the sky fell black over northern Idaho. I woke in the morning, took the bus to Wenatchee, and began the boat ride up Lake Chelan with better resolve. This year will be good, I kept repeating in my head. You’re out here to learn and grow, so go and get it.

Now, eleven and half months later, as I look towards the end of my long term stay here in the Village, I can say with conviction and joy that those anxieties were completely unfounded and unnecessary. I have realized over the course of this year how good and pleasant indeed it is when kindred live together in unity. Psalm 133, today’s daily lectionary reading, speaks about living together in unity, and when I read it, I knew I had to say something about it.

Over the course of this year, I have learned the true definition of kindred spirit. I have become best friends with my fellow colleagues in the kitchen, mavericks, contributions coordinators, housekeepers, program team members, carpenters, and craft cave coordinators. I have learned that in order to do something here, it literally “takes a village”. I have learned how to connect with people on a more intentional level. Sunday morning coffee at Chalet 5 and pancakes and morning worship will be just a few of my favorite remembrances of this town. I’ve had good and meaningful conversations over oatmeal and coffee, and have discussed Christian Universalism and philosophy with Burnell while overlooking Martin’s Ridge. I’ve hiked into Copper Basin on New Year’s Day and eaten lunch on a steep mountainside and have praised God for each and every one of his blessings. I’ve loved the support and prayers that we give each other in Vespers each evening, and how we come together every Sunday to celebrate the Eucharist feast. In a list of things that I love about this place, this is just the beginning.

Psalm 133 also expounds on the concept of goodness in community and being united. This goodness, this praise is something extraordinarily lavish - after all, it is “running down upon the beard…of Aaron, running down over the collars of his robe.” Community and friendship in community is something to be extoled and celebrated. I believe we do extraordinarily well here at Holden, in both our rambunctious summer parades and quiet winter nights. One of my favorite moments here in the Village was in late November, after the mineworkers had just left, and the Village was small and quiet. It was snowing, and we had finished a Eucharist service. I was serving as head sacristan that evening and was bringing up the leftover wine. Burnell came up to me and said, “What do you have there?”

“Wine”, I said.

“Are you gonna finish it off all by yourself?” he asked.

“No,” I said, “I’m bringing it to a house gathering – unless you want some!”

Burnell and I ended up finishing off the leftovers of the wine, calling it “Jesus Round 2”, as the snow continued to fall. He later told me that he’d “never experienced communion like that before – that was really special.”, and he laughed.

A few weeks later, I went on an out with Colleen Foote, to take some time away, as well as to take her to Wenatchee to get her wisdom teeth removed. We went in to Chelan after we got off at Fields Point, went into town, both called our parents and other beloved, got yellow and red bell peppers, penne noodles and olive oil, went back to the B&B, and made pasta. It was quiet outside, and I could tell Colleen was nervous about the upcoming surgery, but it was nice just to be able to spend time with one of my best friends, even away from the Village. The next day was surgery; I spent the time calling more family back home. Afterwards, we drove back to Chelan to get her medicine, and I had no idea of where to go. My knowledge of Washington is Holden Village and Chelan. That’s it. She flailed her arms in the direction I was supposed to go before falling back asleep. She was a real champ. She left to go back to the Village the next day, while I stayed at the B&B a bit longer. I got back after Las Posadas had ended, and she came up to me and said, “Thanks for taking care of me. You’re the best.”, and it made me smile.

Looking back on these and other winter village memories makes me realize just how close our winter community was. A part of me misses those times, when the days were slower and the conversations longer and the nights darker and the lamplight glowed. However, God gives all seasons to have gladness of heart, so we move on into summer.  

I’ve noticed over the past few weeks that there has been some tension in the air. People have gotten frustrated, angry, worried, and concerned about what is going to happen to the Village in the coming days, months, and years as we begin this transition into the hands of the mining company and truly become a working town. I’m concerned about this, too, and intrigued to see what indeed will happen. What a better time than now, though, to examine who we are as community, what we stand for, and how we can be most welcoming and hospitable in God’s love as we welcome these people into the valley to do the work that will make us whole and help God’s creation heal. It’s an exciting, though daunting, task.

With this transition, some of us are moving on to different positions. Some of us are leaving as our terms of service come to an end. I am one of those staffers who chose to leave. The last of Psalm 133 is now what is causing me to look to life beyond this valley. “For there (in kindred unity) the Lord ordained his blessing, life forevermore.” I leave this town on Wednesday, my term of service at an end and my work in the kitchen complete. God rejoices in the work we do here, both in our lives together and our lives of service to better his creation. I’m looking forward to taking this year and the lessons I’ve learned and applying it to life elsewhere – at Luther Seminary as I prepare for my own ministry, and wherever else God so leads. As it stands, I am awfully sad to leave you all in this valley. I’ve learned so many things here, and made so many connections, but there is a time to live in other places, too, and serve in different ways.

So, in closing, I give all of you gathered here this night my thanks for letting me spend a year among you. Thank you for enduring the times that I cooked with too much garlic (more often than not, sadly) or made too-rich potato soup, thank you for your counsel and guidance as I look towards seminary and further discern my call, thank you for your hugs and your prayers, your laughter and your wisdom. Thank you for pushing me to play piano at Vespers, even though I only did it once. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to lead Hunger Awareness vespers, as it was an eye-opening and exciting glimpse into what my future in Christian public leadership will look like. Thank you to my kitchen crew, Thomas, Claire, Chris, Molly, Peter, Natalie, and Kari, for all the chopping and cutting and bread baking and successes and frustrations that we went through together. You’ve taught me to work more wholly as part of a team; given me true friendship, allowed me to grow in leadership, and you’ve shown me true grace when I screw up. Thank you, everyone, for showing me the true Christ embodied here, as servant, as giver, and as peacemaker. Thank you for restoring my view of Christ and how He acts in and among us.

I leave here on Wednesday with a heavy heart to be away from you all here in this mountain valley, but I am leaving with the expectation and hope of great, immeasurably awesome things to come. As you look forward to what’s next, go in peace and remain in the light. Thanks be to God.

Hopefully this ends up being meaningful in some way to the community tonight. It was helpful to write this, as it helped organized my thoughts as I prepare for final departure. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone back in Minnesota again - see you soon. 

God's peace, always - 

Dean 

The Safe Family Garden Project 2013

Hello all -

I purchased seeds a few days ago, from Gurney's! I'm excited about this - I'm planning to grow all sorts of things, as we have a plot picked out behind the shed out back by the fields. I'm going to be gardening alongside my grandpa Darold, who's in recovery/rehab from heart surgery - and doing really well. It will be great to spend the summer working with him!

I think I'm most excited about the pumpkins. Sounds odd, yes, but after a year of working as a lead cook in a little mountain valley community that prides itself on eating organic, local produce, it's hard to think otherwise. I've chosen to plant the French heirloom musquee de provence pumpkin (technically a member of the squash family) - prized by chefs for its baking qualities in breads and pies. They start on the vine a deep green, and by harvest turn a rich earthen brown, and apparently are quite the show stopper at farmers markets. We'll see what happens come September!

I've also chosen to plant heirloom tomatoes and bell peppers, known for their green, orange, yellow, and red skins. I worked with heirloom tomatoes this summer in the Holden kitchen, and they looked and tasted great.

What else...cucumbers, onions, radishes, oregano, basil, potatoes, carrots, lettuce, blueberry bushes, roma tomatoes (for canning), beets, and raspberry and blackberry bushes. This promises to be an exciting summer. I'm excited, too, after working this whole year with these foods from local farmers, to actually be growing my own and working with my own food.

Anyway - time for breakfast and mailing some more boxes home. Nine more days here. I'm trying to be as ready as possible.

God's peace -
Dean

Weekend at the A-frame!

Hello all -

Just a quick update! This weekend I went with two good friends, Ann and Burnell Carlander-Peterson to stay at the Village A-frame down at Lucerne on Lake Chelan! We had a great time! We got to the A-frame (a little shack without water or electricity), set up camp, and then went out hiking to Domke Lake, an hour and a half hike to a little remote lake surrounded by immense mountains - nothing was on the lake except for two little cabins, one lived in, the other seemingly abandoned. We sat on the rocks and enjoyed the sun and the quiet - it was truly peaceful!

It began to get cloudy around 5:00, so we began to hike back - made our return around 6:30, were we cooked dinner on the little wood stove - mashed potatoes, steak with onions and gravy, rice, fresh brioche, and milk. We sat by the light of the gas lamp and ate like kings! Little was left of the evening save a good read from "Folks this ain't normal" by Joel Salatin - a treatise on organic and sustainable living, living off the land, and counteracting modern American culture. I went to bed around 9:00 in the upstairs loft.

Woke up this morning, made french toast with the leftover brioche, eggs and steak, had fresh strawberry jam, and enjoyed more conversation. Ann and Burnell are truly amazing people. Soon - it was back up to the Village. Short stay, but good times! It made me realize how not-ready I am to leave this place. Yes, I miss my family, and want to go home - but I don't feel ready to leave these people, these mountains, or this town. Good thing I still have two more weeks, and it's hard to believe it's coming to that. Yikes. I have a feeling I'm destined to do another long-term stint in the future.

Anyway - just thought I'd write something. It's been awhile!
God's deep peace -

Dean

A List of Good Things

Hello all -

It's a sleepy Monday night here at Holden Village. Tonight - tonight, my mind's scattered. Between our little valley town where the mountains enfold us, and Minnesota, where the fields escape to the horizon and never quite seem to return. I'm realizing that my departure date is only six weeks away, and I'm unsettled. It's been on my mind a lot lately - I'm sad to leave this place that I've called home for a year and some of the best friends in the world, but excited to return home to the farm, my brothers, my parents, and my dog.

I didn't know what to expect back in April and May of 2012, when I was finishing up my undergrad and preparing for this move. I was worried about connecting with people, about not being good enough to be a lead cook, and a bit unsettled about being away and living in a remote mountain town for a year. Well, almost eleven months later, I've seen that those beliefs were certainly unfounded and unnecessary.

Here at Holden Village, I've grown in so, so many ways:

1) I've become more confident. My job as a lead cook has, by "baptism under fire", forced me to take authority and become commanding, something that I now appreciate - especially as I look forward to the next two years at Luther Seminary where my ministry skills will continued to be honed and discerned.
2) I've learned to appreciate living in a place without TV or phones. It makes my dream of living a back-to-the-land lifestyle (without electricity and plumbing) that much more of a reality.
3) I've had fantastic theological conversations with great friends. I've clarified my position as a Christian universalist, and have dived deep into exploring the scope of God's love for humanity and the earth. Without Holden, I wouldn't have discovered this.
4) This place has provided ample opportunity for solitude and reflection, something that has been renewing and invigorating. The chances to think, read, and study have never been more welcome.
5) I've learned to laugh until I cry. The friends I've made here have been the best in the world. Everyone I meet here is incredibly intentional, caring, and always arrive with big hearts.

Other things that I am thankful for living in the mountains:

1) Good coffee.
2) Sunday morning coffee at chalet 5.
3) Eating cookie dough with friends just because.
4) Seeing 5 feet of snow, every day.
5) Just looking at the mountains. Every day. I wish I could bring them back to Minnesota.
6) Vespers. Every single night.
7) Oatmeal and pumpkin pancakes.
8) Gathering around the table over a meal and,
9) Hearing people's stories. There are some amazing people here.
10) The list goes on, and on...

This year has given me so many things that will serve me well not only at Luther, but also as I look forward to life beyond school - living in Marcell, and hopefully serving northern Minnesotan communities in some sort of food outreach ministry capacity. As I look towards the end of my time at Holden Village, I'm also excited to return to my roots:

1) Back to the family - my parents, my brothers, my dog.
2) Having bonfires at Camp Bone and laughing like no other.
3) Baking bread and having it only last a day.
4) The stars - they're clearer at home.
5) Watching the cows meander across the pasture.
6) Drinking coffee with dad early in the morning and having "life talks". They're the best!
7) I'm looking forward to returning to running and lifting weights.
8) Walks down the valley road with the dog.
9) Returning to my home congregation - little Spring Garden Lutheran Church - as a more intentional, mindful parishioner.
10) Seeing a good friend.
11) And, again, the list goes on.

I'm okay with this feeling of being unsettled. This mountain town has become home to me, and rightfully so. I've spent a year here, met some amazing people, had an amazing first job, and had the chance to see the mountains every single day. It's been good. Hopefully I'll be able to come back and do another long-term stint sometime in the future. I don't want to leave this place for good, at all. I'm already looking towards December and another return. This town has seeped into my blood well and good. It's infectious. Holden Village brings you in, transforms you, and sends you out to serve as witnesses to God's love. I see that now. I'm excited to return to Minnesota a much better person - I've learned to cook, learned to love people in a more meaningful way, and learned to appreciate silences and quiet moments. I've learned God's love is expansive and wide and wild. I'm excited for life's new adventures, this summer, Luther Seminary, and beyond.

Christ's deepest peace -
Dean

Decisions

Hello all –

It’s been awhile, and I apologize! I was busy this past month – much of it spent at home in Cannon Falls. I took a month out from Holden Village, to see family, participate in Luther Seminary’s Scholarship Weekend, and plan more of life after I leave this mountain town. It was a busy four weeks, that’s for sure!

Let’s recap. I got home, just in time to go to the hospital where my grandpa had heart surgery. Luckily before we left for the night I was able to see him after he had gotten to the recovery room in the ICU. I spent the first few days going between Rochester and Cannon Falls, spending time with grandpa and grandma, as well as my aunt and uncle.

I went for a visit to Luther Seminary on the 17^th and 18^th of February, where I was able to meet future classmates, professors, as well as write an essay and complete an interview for a scholarship award. I was awarded the Leadership Scholarship, valued at $9,000 dollars per year off of tuition. I’m extraordinarily excited to begin this fall – I can’t wait to get on campus!

I also made a Holden style meal for family when I was home – soups, breads, desserts – I tried to get a wide variety of food on the menu – everyone enjoyed it and we had great conversation – it was great to reconnect. I also got to see a good, good friend from church – we went to lunch and had a blast!

I also was lucky enough to spend some time in Marcell, where my grandparents have their cabin. I also applied to work at the Cannon Falls Bakery for the summer. We’ll see what happens there – hoping for good news! Grandpa Safe and I have decided to garden together this summer, so I’m currently planning what to grow – I’m looking at a lot of heirloom variety of vegetables, so it will be a venture into something new!

I got back to Holden on Monday, yesterday, and jumped right back to work today – I led the fish taco night! We had fun – it was my first time making tortillas – who knew it could be something as simple as combining masa harina and water? Crazy!

In other news – I’ve solidified my Holden departure date. I was on the fence for awhile, trying to decide if I should stay through the summer or leave when the kitchen transitions into other hands. I’ve decided to leave when the transition happens, so most likely I’ll be leaving on May 1^st or the first boat after. Being home made me realize how much I missed my parents, my brothers, my dog, and the farm in general. I’m ready for a summer filled with bonfires at Camp Bone, trips to Marcell, gardening, and tons of bread baking. It will be good to be home. My year at Holden has been great, and I’m greatly looking forward to the next month and a half that I have here. But, come May, I have a feeling that it will be time.

Anyway – that’s all for now. I’m going to head for bed soon – working the morning shift tomorrow!

God’s peace, my readers!

From the little mountain town in Washington,

Dean