Hello all -
It's a sleepy Monday night here at Holden Village. Tonight - tonight, my mind's scattered. Between our little valley town where the mountains enfold us, and Minnesota, where the fields escape to the horizon and never quite seem to return. I'm realizing that my departure date is only six weeks away, and I'm unsettled. It's been on my mind a lot lately - I'm sad to leave this place that I've called home for a year and some of the best friends in the world, but excited to return home to the farm, my brothers, my parents, and my dog.
I didn't know what to expect back in April and May of 2012, when I was finishing up my undergrad and preparing for this move. I was worried about connecting with people, about not being good enough to be a lead cook, and a bit unsettled about being away and living in a remote mountain town for a year. Well, almost eleven months later, I've seen that those beliefs were certainly unfounded and unnecessary.
Here at Holden Village, I've grown in so, so many ways:
1) I've become more confident. My job as a lead cook has, by "baptism under fire", forced me to take authority and become commanding, something that I now appreciate - especially as I look forward to the next two years at Luther Seminary where my ministry skills will continued to be honed and discerned.
2) I've learned to appreciate living in a place without TV or phones. It makes my dream of living a back-to-the-land lifestyle (without electricity and plumbing) that much more of a reality.
3) I've had fantastic theological conversations with great friends. I've clarified my position as a Christian universalist, and have dived deep into exploring the scope of God's love for humanity and the earth. Without Holden, I wouldn't have discovered this.
4) This place has provided ample opportunity for solitude and reflection, something that has been renewing and invigorating. The chances to think, read, and study have never been more welcome.
5) I've learned to laugh until I cry. The friends I've made here have been the best in the world. Everyone I meet here is incredibly intentional, caring, and always arrive with big hearts.
Other things that I am thankful for living in the mountains:
1) Good coffee.
2) Sunday morning coffee at chalet 5.
3) Eating cookie dough with friends just because.
4) Seeing 5 feet of snow, every day.
5) Just looking at the mountains. Every day. I wish I could bring them back to Minnesota.
6) Vespers. Every single night.
7) Oatmeal and pumpkin pancakes.
8) Gathering around the table over a meal and,
9) Hearing people's stories. There are some amazing people here.
10) The list goes on, and on...
This year has given me so many things that will serve me well not only at Luther, but also as I look forward to life beyond school - living in Marcell, and hopefully serving northern Minnesotan communities in some sort of food outreach ministry capacity. As I look towards the end of my time at Holden Village, I'm also excited to return to my roots:
1) Back to the family - my parents, my brothers, my dog.
2) Having bonfires at Camp Bone and laughing like no other.
3) Baking bread and having it only last a day.
4) The stars - they're clearer at home.
5) Watching the cows meander across the pasture.
6) Drinking coffee with dad early in the morning and having "life talks". They're the best!
7) I'm looking forward to returning to running and lifting weights.
8) Walks down the valley road with the dog.
9) Returning to my home congregation - little Spring Garden Lutheran Church - as a more intentional, mindful parishioner.
10) Seeing a good friend.
11) And, again, the list goes on.
I'm okay with this feeling of being unsettled. This mountain town has become home to me, and rightfully so. I've spent a year here, met some amazing people, had an amazing first job, and had the chance to see the mountains every single day. It's been good. Hopefully I'll be able to come back and do another long-term stint sometime in the future. I don't want to leave this place for good, at all. I'm already looking towards December and another return. This town has seeped into my blood well and good. It's infectious. Holden Village brings you in, transforms you, and sends you out to serve as witnesses to God's love. I see that now. I'm excited to return to Minnesota a much better person - I've learned to cook, learned to love people in a more meaningful way, and learned to appreciate silences and quiet moments. I've learned God's love is expansive and wide and wild. I'm excited for life's new adventures, this summer, Luther Seminary, and beyond.
Christ's deepest peace -
Dean
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